OUT OF THE BLUE

AIRMAN OPUS – MADISON, WISCONSIN
September 6th, 2009

Mail from the VA, math, and the $1 menu

Me being a full time college student does not change the rotation of the Earth on its axis. People go to college all the time, and there are a lot of non-traditional students in the academic world. There are many veterans going to school, too– even before the Post-9/11 GI Bill, there were a lot of veterans at MATC Truax. I’ve been occasionally blogging, once in a while tweeting, and often updating on Facebook that I’ve been doing school related things for four semesters now. You’re used to hearing that I’m doing homework and taking classes.

If you pass me in one of the hallways at MATC, or on the street, you’re probably doing the same thing I’m doing– listening to music through those permanently attached iPod earbuds, thinking about what you need to get done next, and trying not to collide with anyone else.

You may not see the smile I wear when I have calc 3 homework to do. Or the sense of reserved awe that results from taking calc based physics; that Newton guy invented calculus to invent physics, and here I am looking at the world through the same lens. (They even talk about Newton on Nova sometimes!) Those of you who have good memories will remember that I failed calc 1, twice.

You may not see me pausing and looking at the sign outside the UW Computer Sciences building before I go inside to work. It’s only a sign, right?

You never see me sitting in the empty seats at Kohl Center or Camp Randall just before doors open for a game, enjoying the peace and quiet while I’m putting my paperwork in order. Oh, and looking up at the championship banners. Especially the hockey banners.

Honestly, if you pass me on the street, in the hallway on the way to class, you probably are not concerned in the least. A person wearing iPod earbuds and carrying a backpack in Madison isn’t at all unusual. Working at UW isn’t at all unusual either. Lots of people do that.

So, sometimes, I wonder if I’m being too romantic– putting too much thought into being here, into living the student life. Worrying more about the journey, than the destination.

Is there romance in cutting your grocery bill, buying stuff only when it’s on sale, looking up and down the aisle for the best unit price? Looking for student discounts? Not stopping for that bottle of soda from the convenience store on the way to work? Stocking up on loose leaf paper during back to school sales? Being able to buy lunch for $2.00 at BK?

Is there romance in sitting at home late at night doing math?

Is there romance in walking through an empty (except for other workers) football stadium, or sports arena late at night, when the fans are all gone?

Is there romance in being a veteran of a war that happened nearly twenty years ago? Keeping that experience with you, every day?

Mail Call!

I received an envelope from the VA hospital recently; it contained a questionnaire that they send out three months after a person has completed a PTSD treatment program. The answers you give now are compared to the answers you gave in the past, so they can see how effective the treatment is over time.

You answer these questions, and you evaluate on your own how you feel because you have to think about how you feel to answer them.

So, I’ve answered the questions, and I can say that, be it romantic or not, I wake up in the morning and look forward to the day ahead. I like being in the quiet study area of the library all morning, knocking out physics problems. I like being tired after working at a Badger football game, and studying math during a Badger hockey game.

Romance? Glory? Fame? Probably not. But I’m happy with my math homework and my big, cheap bag of generic cheerios.

August 21st, 2009

It’s time. Bring the noise.

Summer, friends, is over.

All right, not technically– the leaves are not changing colors, baseball is still in season, and football is not in season, at least not quite yet. My summer, however, is over because classes start on Monday morning. This semester will be different. I have left my full time job, and changed my occupation to full time student. I still plan to work at Badger home football, basketball and hockey games. I am starting a part time IT help desk position at UW. So while I will be busy, I will be able to focus most of my energy on school, where it belongs and will do the most good.

I ended up with two days this week without work, partly to give me time to get books and such ready for classes, and partly to give me some time to make the shift from a full time day job to student life. Don’t get me wrong– I do not intend, at all, to pretend that I am 20 again– but having one’s primary focus be academics is a different frame of mind than meeting data entry production goals every day. In between shopping for books, highlighters, graph paper, and those four-color Bic pens (that are damn near impossible to find), I have made it a point to relax a little. Page through the calculus book, and notes from the past two semesters. Bookmark textbook websites. Play some Quake II. And above all, make sure the batteries in my calculator are fresh. (Calc III and Calc based physics this semester = I’ll be attached to my TI-89.)

The path to get here has been a long one. I have had a lot to overcome, have had to learn different ways to do things, and always seem to have more adjustments to make. I’m good with that.

Monday morning is going to be interesting. I have never had the full daytime MATC Truax experience, since I have had all night and online classes thus far. I might feel a little old. I might feel a little stressed, anxious, or hurried. Probably all of the above.

I will also be the person sitting up in the front of the class, notebook open, reading glasses on (reference feeling old in last paragraph), pen and highlighter in hand, ready to rock and roll.

So yes, my summer is over.

Bring on the math. Bring on the phone calls. Bring on the football, basketball, and especially the hockey.

Yeah, just bring it.

July 22nd, 2009

Enjoying summer…

Holy crap. It’s almost the end of July. That means that I have about a month until fall semester starts. 30ish days. Holy crap. I’m short. (Can you really be a short timer as a civilian? I’ll claim yes, and more on that in a future post.)

It’s not that bad. I’m actually looking forward to classes starting again. All of my classes will be new material, so it will likely be challenging and interesting. (To put it mildly.) I might put some time in with the Calc book just before the semester starts; last two semesters I think I could have gotten off to a better start. This time I want, and need, to have those math brain cells awake the first week.

But enough about school. It’s still July.

I’ve been out on the new Trek a lot this month, logging 120+ miles this month. This weekend, the Trek gets to be a mountain bike, and gets dirty. I’m going camping, and taking the bike along to do some mountain biking in the Nicolet National Forest. Last summer, I was on the old bike from Target, which shifted on its own and didn’t shift when I told it to shift. The Trek doesn’t suffer from those issues, so this time will likely be more fun. I’ve also been going on training rides with the Madison (WI) Area Outdoor Meetup Group on Monday nights, which accounts for a lot of the miles I’ve pedaled this month.

I also have two other camping trips on the schedule this summer, one to Minnesota and one to Michigan, and the bike’s going along on both trips. There will also be kayaking and hiking involved on those trips.

I’ve been learning Java, slowly. I don’t expect that I’ll do a lot with it this semester, but I’m taking an online course through ACM just to reactivate those portions of my brain that are there to write code. It’s been a while, but a loop still does and a variable still is. I’m going to take the A+ exam before school starts again, too. My I Love Me wall needs updating.

I’m working on my UW-Madison transfer application. I’m putting things down on paper now, so it should be submitted soon. That’s a major step. Actually getting in will be an even bigger step, but this is the second step– the first was getting far enough at MATC to make transferring possible.

Okay, so I wasn’t done talking about school. I am trying to make the most of summer, because once the semester starts, life is all about homework and tests. I do believe that thinking about classes now and then over the summer is a good thing, because I’m happy about college. I enjoy school, even the math. (Maybe, especially the math.)

But it is still summer, it’s 73 degrees and sunny, and I’m getting out on the bike to log some more pedaling miles.

July 12th, 2009

A Saturday in Triage

Sometimes, you find parallels to military service in places you didn’t expect to see them. Those things you learned in faraway places have their counterparts at home. And, you have fun and get free food and other goodies.

This weekend, I was temporarily assigned to a mobile unit that was setting up shop here– they’d asked for a number of local volunteers to fill slots they needed to conduct operations, and I volunteered.

The weekend started on Friday, with checking in- getting my identity verified, being issued a uniform, discussing access procedures, and being briefed by various officers. Among the highlights of the briefings was what to check for regarding the firearms and weapons we’d see people carrying the next day.

After being assigned to triage and meeting our person in charge, my team took a tour of where we’d be working, reviewed the paperwork we’d need to deal with, and reviewed procedures for other mission essentials such as getting chow/coffee in the morning before operations began.

“Triage” on Saturday was just what it sounds like. After waiting in line for a while, someone would see a generalist who would assign them one or more categories of specialists that they’d see next. My team’s mission was to get those people from the triage area into the line for the first specialist they’d need to see. From there, another team would get them in to the specialist, and point them to the next specialist. This went on from 0615, when we reported for chow, to about 1830, when the last of the line had been processed through triage. (We did get a break for chow at lunchtime. Meatloaf, mac n’ cheese, veggies– yummy goodness.)

Disaster? Casualties? Drill weekend? Deployment?

Nope. I was volunteering at a taping of the PBS show Antiques Roadshow.

The line of people, of course, was people who had brought in items from home to be appraised. They’d gotten tickets through a lottery, months ago. Once they were in line, they saw a general appraiser who assigned their items categories such as “Collectibles” or “Folk Art”. Those of us working triage (actual name) took them along with their items to the areas they’d been assigned, and dropped them off at the appropriate place on the set. (Which was more complicated than it sounds.)

Along the way, we talked– about where people were from, what they’d brought, how cool it was to actually be on the set of a show they watched every week for years. I met people from Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, Iowa, Indiana, and even someone who had flown in from New York.

I met a few veterans, some veterans of WWII, Korea, and Vietnam. I met a few more sons, daughters, and grandsons and granddaughters of veterans who had brought stuff in that had made it home years ago. I saw rifles, shotguns, pistols, bayonets, swords, medals, decorations, and uniforms.

I saw a hockey stick autographed by members of the 1977 Wisconsin Badgers men’s hockey team.

I helped a Packer fan find her sister, a Minnesota Gopher fan, after they’d been separated among the lines for different categories.

I also saw paintings, prints, dolls, furniture, quilts, rugs, toys, tools, and more just plain stuff than I can ever hope to list. Every thing had a story and a reason for being there. Every thing that someone brought in to be appraised represented some part of life for someone.

The “unit” was the traveling crew of Antiques Roadshow, plus the local staff from WHA, plus all of us volunteers. Once you add in appraisers (who are beyond being just “specialists”, local law enforcement, catering, facilities and security people, you have what looks (and feels) a lot like a military unit. Okay, we didn’t have PT and haircuts to worry about, but we certainly did have a mission to accomplish.

I imagine that most people would not equate taping Antiques Roadshow with a military operation, but I saw parallels all day. Working with dedicated people, doing something for other people, helping preserve something important, getting the job done– those are things that, to me, felt a lot like the good things about military service.

Oh, and I got a really cool Antiques Roadshow polo shirt.

June 8th, 2009

Change of seasons

I’m still catching up from the last month of spring semester– I really put a lot of effort, coffee, and lack of sleep together and the results were good. If there’s such a thing as “in the zone”, I was in it those last few weeks of the semester. But it’s taken a few weeks to readjust to things like, say, being able to go to bed at 10:00pm without having a speech to write or a boatload of calculus problems to get done. I keep thinking I have homework due tomorrow.

So I’m not quite used to summer, but I’m adapting.

I spent a good portion of this past weekend shopping for camping supplies, and picked up a tent that was on sale at REI (among other things– tarpage, tent stakes, etc.) So I’ll be
doing some camping in the near future. I looked at kayaks, too, and have resigned myself to waiting until next year to buy one. This year’s major purchase was the Trek 820, which I needed before I need a boat. My bike rides to and from work are a lot more fun now. I’ve already been on one 20 mile ride with the ’820– planning to get it onto a trail and get it dirty soon, too.

This summer isn’t all vacation time though. I still have things to get accomplished. I’m taking an online non-credit Java programming course, and an A+ certification exam course this summer. (It’s surprising how much I remember from my object oriented programming, and programming languages classes that I took, oh, a few years ago. Maybe I didn’t kill all those brain cells after all.) Sometime in August, I’ll pull out the calculus book again and put myself through a self-imposed refresher course before the semester starts.

And, I only have one semester left at MATC. So I’m working on applying for that other school (whose initials are UW). Just filling out the application is a big step, which is the result of having taken a lot of very small steps. There’s some anxiety here. I have an academic past to answer for– which I’m working on doing, but there’s a lot riding on how well I explain how different I am from the kid who dropped out of LSU-Shreveport a few years ago.

In any case, I’m going to be a full time student at MATC Truax in fall. Most of my classes have been at the downtown campus, and the one I have had at Truax was at night– so I’m going to be, shall we say, immersed. There is a big difference between being a working adult taking classes and being a full time adult student who also works. (At least, it seems that way as I’m writing this.) It’s not really that “I’m gonna die” scary, but it will feel different for a while. And then, by the end of the first day of classes this fall, I’ll have enough homework to do that it won’t matter. Hopefully.

May 19th, 2009

Semester end updates

Spring semester 2009 is history. I can sleep now. Speech, and Calculus 2 can be mounted and hung on the wall.

It’s been an, um, busy semester. In addition to my eight hours of classes (so, yeah, half-time+) at MATC I worked at just about all of the UW men’s hoops games, all of the Badger men’s hockey games, the WIAA state wrestling tournament and state boy’s basketball tournament. Oh yeah– I had a regular 40 hour a week job, too.

And oh yeah again– I also completed a 12-week post traumatic stress disorder treatment program at the Madison VA hospital. In the middle of the semester.

This semester my long days had two basic variations:

  • Work job 1 0610-1545, study ’till 1900, then class till 2130, then to the gym till 2230 and sometimes foraging for groceries after that
  • Work job 1 0610-1545, study ’till hoops/hockey, work 1630-2230 (and study during hoops/hockey)

Most days during the week at around the time I hit twelve hours I was either soon headed to class or making sure my meat was cooked because the Kohl Center’s doors were just opening for the game. A “long day” was about sixteen hours, and a good night’s sleep was about 4-5 hours.

And one final oh yeah– I got BC’s in both classes. They’re not A’s– but considering the circumstances this semester, I’m quite happy with ‘em.

May 16th, 2009

A little late, but Crazylegs 2009

This is a bit late, but it’s become tradition that a) I run Crazylegs and b) I post something about it afterwards.

Last year, it was windy and a little chilly.
This year, it was rainy and way more than a little chilly.

I didn’t run the 8K, but I did walk the 2K. I considered running, even with the rain, but didn’t for two reasons. First, it doesn’t do me any good to catch a cold that kicks my ass for two weeks right before final exams. Second, I wasn’t as in shape this year– two jobs plus half time school takes its toll on a person’s workout schedule.

So my results for this year weren’t in the paper the next day. Oh well. I did get my tshirt, my beer, and got to see the crew from work. Definitely worth two clicks in the rain. Just wait ’till next year.

April 29th, 2009

Another semester ends…

… between work and (especially) school, and other already planned events, I’ll be insanely busy until about the middle of May. I’ll still be on Twitter and Facebook, but won’t have room to add anything to my schedule.

After finals I think I’m going to sleep for about a week.

April 14th, 2009

Taking a break from VFW

You may (or may not) already know that I’ve resigned as Chaplain of my VFW post with a couple of months left on my term. I’ve decided to put VFW aside mostly because it’s become a source of stress and anxiety for me, rather than being a rewarding and enjoyable experience.

I don’t want to make it sound uglier than it was– however, I’ve left because I wasn’t getting what I wanted out of being a member.

February 8th, 2009

I am getting too much information

I use Google’s iGoogle customizable homepage feature a lot, or at least I have been lately– at last count I think I had about 65 different RSS feeds showing headlines. Most of them are related in some way to world events, Iraq, Afghanistan, Russia, homeland security, intelligence and diplomacy. As I looked at various blogs, I’d see a link to an article on another and end up adding them both. And so the list grew.

I’ve realized recently (with help) that trying to keep track of all of this stuff takes a lot of brain cells, nerve endings, time, and anxiety. There is a certain point where you have to allow yourself to believe that a) you can’t change what’s happening there (and can’t help), b) the likelihood of you/your town being attacked for any reason is very slim, and c) it’s time to let some. of. it. just. go. So I’ve deleted about two thirds of the RSS feeds I was tracking, and will probably delete a few more. A few I have to keep– generally, they’re the ones that are funny, entertaining, or just bring back good memories. I’m keeping a couple that tend to post news summaries, which are good at giving me an idea of what’s going on without too many details. All told, I’m probably going to be down to about 15 blogs and news outlets.

Okay, so I have a couple of others loaded into Google Reader, so I can check them out on my phone.
Yes, I need to delete those, too.